Tag: open and honest

The Space Between

I have reached an impasse. I have a desire to learn and grow, to gather all the knowledge and knowledgeable people necessary to define the processes involved in creating Constitutional Law. And I have to gain the INSIGHT of communities across this Nation. Thankfully I live in Kansas City. The diversity of the Kansas City Metro is why I love living here, but I know there is more I MUST learn, and soon.

There is so much to do! And I don’t want to be the weakest link. I want to spend the next few months leaning about the weaknesses in my ideas. Flaws in the legislation. Points of importance that a skinny white kid from Kansas could not have learned. See… It’s a question I know I should be asking, but do not even know what to ask or to whom it should be addressed! But I KNOW I CAN and I know right now I should.

I need a campaign advisor. And unless they all DONATE their services, first I need funds.

I am still currently taking care of a family as I run my political campaign. I am raising two sons, taking care of housework, grocery shopping, school, et al… And my wife, Jessica, works as a Pediatric Critical Care Nurse. She works nights, so she sleeps during the day. Living with someone who works a night shift automatically shifts your own schedule, so my “hours of operation” revolve around her sleep schedule. We understand the risks involved in such an endeavor. But we also understand the LIMIT to how much risk we can take, for the sake of our children. The benifit for EVERYONE is why I risk anything at all right now.

We WILL find the answers, but ONLY if we try!

What do we want to do… This fall, when we decide the next Congress in November, we will have two months… Of waiting? Of fighting? Of treading water while children remain detained? Or two months of planning, and preparing, and understanding that DIVISION is the root of all this evil. Rage fueled with intent, hell bent on pitting brother against brother. Questioning EACH OTHER instead of THE LIAR. Allowing the dread and drudgery to bring us to our basest instincts- fear and anger.

NO! Do not do that! We MUST look higher than that! We’re on a mission! It’s a WAR ON OUR CONSTITUTION, being fought online and at our ballot box. It’s leaders giving citizens lip service while bowing to our ENEMIES. We have to SECURE OUR LIBERTY. I want to LEARN MORE so I can EDUCATE everyone, to explain EXACTLY what must be done!

… because we CAN! I have learned enough so far to know it’s true. I BELIEVE we can do it. I see the path from HERE to THERE… THAT is the first step!

Help me do it, please! I just ask for the chance to be in the fight, and let the PEOPLE decide.

Keep your head UP!!

JC

To Be Honest…

I may have underestimated the enormity of what I have sought… is that even possible?!! I have chosen a new career, that of “Leader of the Free World”, and somehow underestimated the job. It is fitting. Like the dog who catches the car.

As I look at this moment, I can only be honest- It’s not MY idea… It belongs to EVERYONE. I’m just attempting to give it voice. And the more I interact with people, I FEEL it. It’s there… just out of reach. Have you seen “The Truman Show”?

Mayoral Candidate Jason Kander is having a Door Knocking Rally on Saturday and I REALLY want to go, but I don’t think it would be appropriate. I think I got lucky going to the “March For Our Lives” rally in KCK. If I had done that a few months from now, I could have ruined someone else’s event. That’s the LAST thing I want. And that makes me think “Maybe everyone’s right. Maybe I should shut up until after the midterms.”

Muddled messages, confused electorate, all valid arguments… I just think they are wrong. Be it tomorrow, be it December, either way… Let us start the journey NOW, united and focused on Our goals!

The Ship of State steers like the Titanic. The sooner we turn to avoid the iceberg the better. Right now we are plowing into it HEAD ON. So… wait. In that framework, I think we’ll be ok. The watertight compartment will hold. Wow! That metaphor ended abruptly, and in an unexpected way…

I continue to question it myself. I cannot forget- “Twitter is NOT IRL.” And until that bridge is a bit more “real”, I cannot move forward. In my mind, I cannot afford another misstep. But knowing I am helping to shape the national dialogue is HUMBLING. I’ve seen it twice just recently, and I am forever grateful! Thank you!

AND THAT IS CRAZY TALK! I am some guy with a Twitter account in Kansas! How is that even possible? (… aluminum foil.)

How does one explain to an everyday average person exactly what I’m doing? Fortunately, more and more people are waking up to the idea and explanation is NOT necessary! If I were to go and knock on doors and introduce myself, I could get quite a few votes… on my block. In my City. I am attempting to make every character count when I Tweet, showing my mindset for what future policy would look like. I am discussing and debating points of my platform with “real” people, in a “room” full of politicians, celebrities, journalists, heads of state, and delusional headcases. I am speaking my thoughts and feelings on prescient subjects, and making progress toward change.

For WHAT? For WHOM? For ME? Ha…! The level of INSANITY I am causing my wife is NOT what I want! The insatiable drive to gain a small note of accomplishment, to show her a glimmer of future prospects… and I can’t even get my identity verified on Twitter. I think many believe I am a Russian Bot… yet, I WILL persist.

And THAT is one of my faults… LIKE A MULE! I can be convinced when my thoughts are in error, but the argument must be solid. I am stubborn and my Sons are as well. It’s an unfortunate male Charbonneau trait it seems. I am attempting to direct that family trait by ensuring that stubbornness in my boys, is paired with EDUCATION.

Maybe that is how it works…

As I sit here with pencil and paper, thinking of what I am attempting… Am I insane, or just ahead of the curve?? It is an unnatural feeling, for a mere mortal. I hope I am worthy of such an awesome task. Just some random thoughts about my feelings. I need to go eat dinner so I can finish cleaning the house. It’s so bizarre to be doing dishes and get distracted by foreign policy or the United Nations Convention on the rights of the Child…

(MENTAL NOTE: order more dishwasher detergent)

JC

What do you want?

What’s your favorite song? Right now I can’t stop listening to Tool’s ‘Lateralus’. The complexity of the time signatures is hypnotic and the message of “keep going” drives me on some mornings.

On my way home from Costco this morning, I realized something important about what I’m doing in politics right now. I’ve written a ‘new song’ in essence. When an artist has the spark within that moves them to create something never heard before, it is only existent in the artists own mind. Think about it… the moment when Mozart started to compose The Requiem, it was already complete and playing on repeat, perfection in his mind.

The moment the SPARK hits, the composition exists in perfection in the artist’s mind.

As beautiful as that initial composition is, the composed reality is usually different. Especially if the composition process is done with other musicians contributing, and that process leads to collaborations that lead to something even more amazing than first envisioned. That’s what makes a supergroup like Queen so much more incredible, all contributing to make something no one individual could.

The rare exception occurs. The spark gives light and the artists sits and creates, as if in one breath, perfection in reality, where any addition to the creation makes it somehow less than it is alone. The story behind the creation of this song is a great example-

I believe I have done that with my Constitutional Amendment.

But I am not sure. Even if I am, it is not up to one individual, as it should be. It is a collaborative process that will involve shaping an imagined idea, existing in perfection only in the minds of a few, but ultimately be something even more amazing than any ONE person can see.

I believe I am justified in my request for an open discussion of this idea, and am currently searching every fiber of my make up to be sure I am correct. I constantly ask myself if I am missing a piece of the puzzle, or if I am worthy of even attempting to run for President. Rehashing every bad decision I’ve ever made. Every person I have wronged in my life. Every heart I have broken. Every illegal act I’ve ever committed… the ones I’ve been caught doing and the ones I have not.

As I weigh all of my actions against a feather, I find I am not pure. As a recovering addict, ten years sober, I know my years as a child bled over into my adult life. I believed the life of drugs and alcohol could coexist with family life. As a child who grew up in the homes of addicts, my frame of reference was skewed. I had never lived in a sober family before I got married and had kids. I went through life believing everything to be a party, and I thought NOT drinking and partying everyday would be ‘good enough’.

Rarely is someone successful aiming for par.

By becoming a husband and a father, I’ve become a partner in a successful team. We own our own home, our boys are getting the best education we can provide, and we are working our way slowly out of debt, even if our home mortgage is STILL underwater from 2008. Our financial plans for the future are tenuous since I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes in 2016. My body has changed a lot since the auto-immune reaction that causes loss of insulin production started. My body is not in “mint condition”, and my stamina for physical activity has diminished.

My wife, being an ICU nurse who specializes in pediatric CRRT, doesn’t work a set schedule, and she works 12 hour night shifts. A long time ago I figured out the best way for me to do something I would enjoy and be a contributor to the family. After my job as a “housewife”, I would need to start my own business so I could have the flexibility her schedule would require. I planned on going back to school and learning how to install residential solar and wind electricity production and tap into an untouched market here in KC. Energy independence is a must for everybody for many reasons. I am passionate about that.

But now… I just had my 39th birthday yesterday, and my body feels like it’s almost 60. Knees are stiff, back is sore, I am sensitive to heat, and my skin is more sensitive. Appearantly type 1 diabetes gives you the odd superhero ability to feel a piece of dog hair anytime it gets between your cloths and your skin…

After dealing with the horrifying reality that my body is no longer compatible with life on this planet, I realize I will continue to live. Mary Tyler Moore was 80 when she died. So long as I constantly think about my insulin, I will live. What I can do, physically, has changed. I am less productive in general because of the hormonal and chemical differences due to lack of beta cells. And the amount of time I must now dedicate to self maintenance limits what I can accomplish in my spare time. But I know I can still contribute!

I will not continue to fight for this campaign if I am convinced I am wrong. I do not want to waste my time fighting for a flawed idea that is not what people want. That is insanity. I have little time to waste chasing fairies, when I could be using my talents to do what’s necessary for my family. But if I am correct, I am doing what is necessary for my family RIGHT NOW. And what’s necessary for every family in this country. And if I am correct, and everyone starts to hear what I have to say, and begins the process of debate…

I believe I am justified because it is the best idea, not because it is MY idea. I only ask that it be allowed a full and open discussion. Let the chips fall where they may.

JC