The Space Between

I have reached an impasse. I have a desire to learn and grow, to gather all the knowledge and knowledgeable people necessary to define the processes involved in creating Constitutional Law. And I have to gain the INSIGHT of communities across this Nation. Thankfully I live in Kansas City. The diversity of the Kansas City Metro is why I love living here, but I know there is more I MUST learn, and soon.

There is so much to do! And I don’t want to be the weakest link. I want to spend the next few months leaning about the weaknesses in my ideas. Flaws in the legislation. Points of importance that a skinny white kid from Kansas could not have learned. See… It’s a question I know I should be asking, but do not even know what to ask or to whom it should be addressed! But I KNOW I CAN and I know right now I should.

I need a campaign advisor. And unless they all DONATE their services, first I need funds.

I am still currently taking care of a family as I run my political campaign. I am raising two sons, taking care of housework, grocery shopping, school, et al… And my wife, Jessica, works as a Pediatric Critical Care Nurse. She works nights, so she sleeps during the day. Living with someone who works a night shift automatically shifts your own schedule, so my “hours of operation” revolve around her sleep schedule. We understand the risks involved in such an endeavor. But we also understand the LIMIT to how much risk we can take, for the sake of our children. The benifit for EVERYONE is why I risk anything at all right now.

We WILL find the answers, but ONLY if we try!

What do we want to do… This fall, when we decide the next Congress in November, we will have two months… Of waiting? Of fighting? Of treading water while children remain detained? Or two months of planning, and preparing, and understanding that DIVISION is the root of all this evil. Rage fueled with intent, hell bent on pitting brother against brother. Questioning EACH OTHER instead of THE LIAR. Allowing the dread and drudgery to bring us to our basest instincts- fear and anger.

NO! Do not do that! We MUST look higher than that! We’re on a mission! It’s a WAR ON OUR CONSTITUTION, being fought online and at our ballot box. It’s leaders giving citizens lip service while bowing to our ENEMIES. We have to SECURE OUR LIBERTY. I want to LEARN MORE so I can EDUCATE everyone, to explain EXACTLY what must be done!

… because we CAN! I have learned enough so far to know it’s true. I BELIEVE we can do it. I see the path from HERE to THERE… THAT is the first step!

Help me do it, please! I just ask for the chance to be in the fight, and let the PEOPLE decide.

Keep your head UP!!

To Be Honest…

I may have underestimated the enormity of what I have sought… is that even possible?!! I have chosen a new career, that of “Leader of the Free World”, and somehow underestimated the job. It is fitting. Like the dog who catches the car.

As I look at this moment, I can only be honest- It’s not MY idea… It belongs to EVERYONE. I’m just attempting to give it voice. And the more I interact with people, I FEEL it. It’s there… just out of reach. Have you seen “The Truman Show”?

Mayoral Candidate Jason Kander is having a Door Knocking Rally on Saturday and I REALLY want to go, but I don’t think it would be appropriate. I think I got lucky going to the “March For Our Lives” rally in KCK. If I had done that a few months from now, I could have ruined someone else’s event. That’s the LAST thing I want. And that makes me think “Maybe everyone’s right. Maybe I should shut up until after the midterms.”

Muddled messages, confused electorate, all valid arguments… I just think they are wrong. Be it tomorrow, be it December, either way… Let us start the journey NOW, united and focused on Our goals!

The Ship of State steers like the Titanic. The sooner we turn to avoid the iceberg the better. Right now we are plowing into it HEAD ON. So… wait. In that framework, I think we’ll be ok. The watertight compartment will hold. Wow! That metaphor ended abruptly, and in an unexpected way…

I continue to question it myself. I cannot forget- “Twitter is NOT IRL.” And until that bridge is a bit more “real”, I cannot move forward. In my mind, I cannot afford another misstep. But knowing I am helping to shape the national dialogue is HUMBLING. I’ve seen it twice just recently, and I am forever grateful! Thank you!

AND THAT IS CRAZY TALK! I am some guy with a Twitter account in Kansas! How is that even possible? (… aluminum foil.)

How does one explain to an everyday average person exactly what I’m doing? Fortunately, more and more people are waking up to the idea and explanation is NOT necessary! If I were to go and knock on doors and introduce myself, I could get quite a few votes… on my block. In my City. I am attempting to make every character count when I Tweet, showing my mindset for what future policy would look like. I am discussing and debating points of my platform with “real” people, in a “room” full of politicians, celebrities, journalists, heads of state, and delusional headcases. I am speaking my thoughts and feelings on prescient subjects, and making progress toward change.

For WHAT? For WHOM? For ME? Ha…! The level of INSANITY I am causing my wife is NOT what I want! The insatiable drive to gain a small note of accomplishment, to show her a glimmer of future prospects… and I can’t even get my identity verified on Twitter. I think many believe I am a Russian Bot… yet, I WILL persist.

And THAT is one of my faults… LIKE A MULE! I can be convinced when my thoughts are in error, but the argument must be solid. I am stubborn and my Sons are as well. It’s an unfortunate male Charbonneau trait it seems. I am attempting to direct that family trait by ensuring that stubbornness in my boys, is paired with EDUCATION.

Maybe that is how it works…

As I sit here with pencil and paper, thinking of what I am attempting… Am I insane, or just ahead of the curve?? It is an unnatural feeling, for a mere mortal. I hope I am worthy of such an awesome task. Just some random thoughts about my feelings. I need to go eat dinner so I can finish cleaning the house. It’s so bizarre to be doing dishes and get distracted by foreign policy or the United Nations Convention on the rights of the Child…

(MENTAL NOTE: order more dishwasher detergent)

Where Do YOU Stand?

What is OUR story? What is it that WE will create? I’ve been searching for an inspiring message from Historical figures, listening to Martin Luther King Jr, John F. Kennedy, and Robert F. Kennedy, and some are so timeless, it is as if they were written this morning.

But still… I’m STILL left wanting…

I am a younger man. I have an abbreviated frame of reference, but it is of the SAME events that my grandparents have witnessed, and that somehow makes my conclusions different. Or somehow makes their conclusions more just. I believe the worst part of getting older, especially now in our Digital Social Society, is the development of an INABILITY to forget.

A five year old child tries to steal a cookie from the cookie jar, the parent sternly says “No!”, and the child snaps his hand back startled, with concern for having upset their parent… but with a smile, the child turns and chases a cat.

We have Leaders today who bear grudges born by their Fathers. We have Leaders today who do not forget the grudges held by the Founders of this Nation. Today, in the Executive Branch of the United States Government, Leaders who bear the grudges born by men, alive at the time of Jesus, hold public office.

And these are their fights, not OURS. The fights and arguments of dead men rule over Our lives ON LINE. Now, if THAT doesn’t sound upside down…

What makes Our system of governance ‘good’ and ‘just’ is the promise of a second chance, rehabilitation, “… time served.” When a man is sentenced to life in prison, and dies incarcerated, his sentence has been served. He can be interred as a free American, no less than you or I.

And be it true or not is just an opinion, but Americans MUST remember this magnificent system of justice is what EVERY human being seeks to be a part of. The VAST majority of people who dream of escaping oppression based on ancient beliefs, or enslavement based on gender. Our Constitution stands for hope for ALL people who still harbor some hope, that one day, THAT Liberty can become THEIRS.

Idealistic… maybe. UNTRUE….?

The system set by the Vision of Free Men can be thought of as the first successful computer program. All programs, in essence, are ‘ones and zeros’, ‘on or off’, question gates for an electron answering ‘yes or no’, millions per second, running through a predesigned systematic layout, to produce a desired end product.

Predesigned, systematic, to produce an end product.

What do WE want that end product to be? WHAT should that end product look like? And for whom has this product been created?

FOR ALL MANKIND.

We celebrate our Constitution, NOT because it is OURS, but because it is a document worthy of Celebration! And it is only successful because of the ability to Amend the Laws, CORRECT problems, find bugs in the lines of code. It IS difficult, it is tedious, but it IS POSSIBLE, and it MUST be done.

In this new digital landscape we traverse daily, to navigate successfully means we allow ourselves to become part of a machine. To buy movie tickets, to look at cat videos. YOU allow it. And as with OUR Constitutional Government, so too with our digitally projected self-image-

We MUST take PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.

We must not forget misdeeds and condemn them to the PAST, instead we must understand exactly how and why an injustice is allowed. The ‘Origin Story’ of the outcast devils that are STILL haunting the halls of Congress. THAT is how we prepare for the future.

By understanding the root of our ills. By OPENING UP and demanding an end to what is CLEARLY NOT how Our system should be. When the sign on the door says “Equal Justice Under Law”, we can NO LONGER ALLOW ‘selective service’. America must BECOME that ideological entity NOW, because we most certainly are not ANYWHERE near it today. And, if we continue down it, history stands as guide to show you how far this path really leads…

So OUR Story begins HERE. Do we continue to fight, or do we decide to conclude the discussion, and ratify these decisions?

If we pause, and examine what fuels our passions, what makes us ‘wild’, the root of the problem is SOLVABLE! It CAN be solved, and it SHOULD be solved. Because the VERY ABILITY to have a debate like this is under attack as I write these words. To characterize it as a “civil war” is a false narrative. It is as if our collective ant farm is being shaken from the outside.

… put down your sugar cube, we have to defend the Hill.

With Liberty and justice for ALL is NOT a reality show tag line. It is a blood-oath sworn, that we are called upon again to STAND UP for. Not with GUN IN HAND… with HEART AND MIND. We have envisioned, for more than 200 years, what we want for our monument, to stand through time immemorial. It is Our Constitution.

So True it shall stand, so flexible no earthquake shall bring it down.

It is to these ideals, Liberty and Equality we should ALL aspire. And it is to the same, we should STAND for and pledge our lives, or take a knee and show HUMILITY for,

The ideals of Equal Justice Under Law.

What do you want?

What’s your favorite song? Right now I can’t stop listening to Tool’s ‘Lateralus’. The complexity of the time signatures is hypnotic and the message of “keep going” drives me on some mornings.

On my way home from Costco this morning, I realized something important about what I’m doing in politics right now. I’ve written a ‘new song’ in essence. When an artist has the spark within that moves them to create something never heard before, it is only existent in the artists own mind. Think about it… the moment when Mozart started to compose The Requiem, it was already complete and playing on repeat, perfection in his mind.

The moment the SPARK hits, the composition exists in perfection in the artist’s mind.

As beautiful as that initial composition is, the composed reality is usually different. Especially if the composition process is done with other musicians contributing, and that process leads to collaborations that lead to something even more amazing than first envisioned. That’s what makes a supergroup like Queen so much more incredible, all contributing to make something no one individual could.

The rare exception occurs. The spark gives light and the artists sits and creates, as if in one breath, perfection in reality, where any addition to the creation makes it somehow less than it is alone. The story behind the creation of this song is a great example-

I believe I have done that with my Constitutional Amendment.

But I am not sure. Even if I am, it is not up to one individual, as it should be. It is a collaborative process that will involve shaping an imagined idea, existing in perfection only in the minds of a few, but ultimately be something even more amazing than any ONE person can see.

I believe I am justified in my request for an open discussion of this idea, and am currently searching every fiber of my make up to be sure I am correct. I constantly ask myself if I am missing a piece of the puzzle, or if I am worthy of even attempting to run for President. Rehashing every bad decision I’ve ever made. Every person I have wronged in my life. Every heart I have broken. Every illegal act I’ve ever committed… the ones I’ve been caught doing and the ones I have not.

As I weigh all of my actions against a feather, I find I am not pure. As a recovering addict, ten years sober, I know my years as a child bled over into my adult life. I believed the life of drugs and alcohol could coexist with family life. As a child who grew up in the homes of addicts, my frame of reference was skewed. I had never lived in a sober family before I got married and had kids. I went through life believing everything to be a party, and I thought NOT drinking and partying everyday would be ‘good enough’.

Rarely is someone successful aiming for par.

By becoming a husband and a father, I’ve become a partner in a successful team. We own our own home, our boys are getting the best education we can provide, and we are working our way slowly out of debt, even if our home mortgage is STILL underwater from 2008. Our financial plans for the future are tenuous since I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes in 2016. My body has changed a lot since the auto-immune reaction that causes loss of insulin production started. My body is not in “mint condition”, and my stamina for physical activity has diminished.

My wife, being an ICU nurse who specializes in pediatric CRRT, doesn’t work a set schedule, and she works 12 hour night shifts. A long time ago I figured out the best way for me to do something I would enjoy and be a contributor to the family. After my job as a “housewife”, I would need to start my own business so I could have the flexibility her schedule would require. I planned on going back to school and learning how to install residential solar and wind electricity production and tap into an untouched market here in KC. Energy independence is a must for everybody for many reasons. I am passionate about that.

But now… I just had my 39th birthday yesterday, and my body feels like it’s almost 60. Knees are stiff, back is sore, I am sensitive to heat, and my skin is more sensitive. Appearantly type 1 diabetes gives you the odd superhero ability to feel a piece of dog hair anytime it gets between your cloths and your skin…

After dealing with the horrifying reality that my body is no longer compatible with life on this planet, I realize I will continue to live. Mary Tyler Moore was 80 when she died. So long as I constantly think about my insulin, I will live. What I can do, physically, has changed. I am less productive in general because of the hormonal and chemical differences due to lack of beta cells. And the amount of time I must now dedicate to self maintenance limits what I can accomplish in my spare time. But I know I can still contribute!

I will not continue to fight for this campaign if I am convinced I am wrong. I do not want to waste my time fighting for a flawed idea that is not what people want. That is insanity. I have little time to waste chasing fairies, when I could be using my talents to do what’s necessary for my family. But if I am correct, I am doing what is necessary for my family RIGHT NOW. And what’s necessary for every family in this country. And if I am correct, and everyone starts to hear what I have to say, and begins the process of debate…

I believe I am justified because it is the best idea, not because it is MY idea. I only ask that it be allowed a full and open discussion. Let the chips fall where they may.

Been there, done that.

We stand poised, on the EDGE of history. Right now, what we do will echo throughout time. Choose your words wisely…

Marching armies stand at the ready as we bicker about taking a knee. Children scream for their mothers, while ‘leaders’ are in bed with spies. Thousands have died and thousands more suffer, in the wealthiest country in the world, due to our inability to prepare for a storm.

When asked to do our duty, to god and our country, leaders point out the faults of others, to justify themselves. When criminals are made to stand for their actions, our leaders say “Well I barely knew him.” When the story is written about how our enemy penetrated our system, after LIES become known, and corruption is aired, how will they be portrayed?

How will YOU be portrayed?

NOW is that time. Here… THIS is that place. Tomorrow, when they ask “Where did you stand? What did you do?” What will you say?

How can people defend the indefensible? Why would someone believe the path to success is found by holding others back? How can leaders speak of making things better when they dehumanize our sisters? How can they promote safety for a country founded by immigrants escaping persecution, by imprisoning children seeking safety?

President James Buchanan sat and watched as State after State walked away from Our Union. He believed the secession was illegal, but he ALSO believed the fight to preserve the Union was illegal.

Our Country is drowning in a flood RIGHT NOW, but leadership points out, “The sign says ‘No Swimming’.”

History is replete with stories of ‘blind ignorance’. The smokestacks billowed while neighboring towns claimed they had no idea. The memo said terrorist determined to strike in America, yet no one could have anticipated an airplane being used like that. 5000 people died because NO ONE could foresee a tropical island nation being devastated by a hurricane.

And NOW, a mother screams “Where is my baby?” and the response is Make America Great Again. Young Black men are shot dead by a man with badge, and the response is All Lives Matter. High school children go to school in fear of another mass shooting, and all we hear is “We should not act while emotions are so raw.”

BULLSHIT! NOW is the time for action. BEFORE the shots are fired, BEFORE another Kent State Massacre, BEFORE the marching in the street becomes mourning in the sanctuary. BEFORE we are forced to take whatever ‘they’ wanna give us… then cast us aside with all the ‘others’ they have forced before.

Heed the warnings of thousands of lost souls… “THIS FAR AND NO FARTHER!!” We know how this story plays out, we have seen this tired plot. The story ends exactly how it has before- GOOD TRIUMPHS OVER EVIL… every time! We do not need to watch this movie again, WE can fast forward to the good part.

We have paid for that shared history in blood. We treasure the unity we have gained in shared loss. We’ve strived, for a full century, to achieve lasting peace in unity, sharing the fruits of our grandparents’ legislative and diplomatic accomplishments. And now, some question if all of that was in vein.

We CAN learn that lesson again… OR we can honor their memories in the way they would have wanted us to-

By standing FIRM and defending the Rights of ALL who wish to live free. By being the example that lights the way for others to follow. By showing strength, and heeding the call of wisdom, to speak truth to power, to ensure true evil is never allowed to flourish again.