The boys have gone to bed.
Jessie is at work.
The dog is… crazy, but that’s another story.
I sit here and listen to the sound of my own silence. Attempting to analyze where exactly I stand… I have NO CLUE where I stand!
10 months. Forging, crafting, contemplating and learning. Learning laws. Taking ‘classes’, and occasionally getting ‘schooled’. Obviously ignorant to the hornets nest I angered. As trivial as a gnat on a warm summer day. A thorn in the minds of the hierarchy of the King.
I like to believe I’ve done more than just buzz. Hell… all I’m doing is just speaking my mind.
So, who AM I? SELF-ANALYSIS… I am possibly in TWO different places…. Schrodinger’s Candidate.
Taken from MY point of view, my YouTube videos have, in essence, ZERO views. My Tweets bounce off only a couple hundred people, at most a couple thousand. My web page counts TENS of PEOPLE per WEEK. My Campaign “War Chest” has… about a half tank of gas in it. And, of the 95 followers I’ve earned on Twitter, only seven(7) are verified as “PEOPLE” and only one(1) potential future colleague…
One Senator. No Representatives. Only one Senator with the COURAGE to offer an “atta boy”…
And I will ALWAYS cherish my Amy Klobuchar bumper sticker! Now, stop hounding me for DONATIONS… I’m BROKE!
THAT… is what I have gained in 10 months. How can it be viewed? How SHOULD it be viewed? Am I making a dent in the conversation, or am I just echoing thoughts others have had before? Sometimes I FEEL like I’ve made a difference. A phrase I use in a campaign speech, posted the previous night will suddenly be stated by a pundit on the news shows the next day.
… did I do that? Or is it just historical political rhetoric, regurgitated and repackaged, in the EXACT same way I did for my campaign?
I can CONFIRM, every politician who claims to be of a “Presidential Caliber” is a liar and a thief! There’s only ONE genuine article… that’s why everyone wanted HIM to go first.
So I attempt to read the tea leaves, intuit anything I can from the endless stream of constant bombardment. Where it resonates within me, I reach out and push back, and I see the reaction. The interaction SEEMS real. Sometimes it feels… like you would if you were walking in a dream. Attempting to run, to get somewhere urgently, but unable to move faster than walking underwater.
It is UNREAL… but it is NOT.
The reasons, I’m not sure of, but the possible explanations FOR it are understandable, once explained… I assume. That’s the key- I have NO IDEA! My wife thinks I’m insane. Paranoid and delusional. “I think you’re seeing things that just AREN’T THERE.”
“Well, yeah, but…” Hmmm.
Here’s how I see it.
I’m stuck in a box. To assure compliance with laws I am unaware of. I assume it’s because of the insane, MASIVE AMOUNTS OF CASH that will be SET ON FIRE over the next two years in the Presidential Election.
It could be I must wait for a pre-determined date before I can solicit donations and receive staff, etc. I’m not fully versed on all the Laws yet… I have no staff. No advisors… except the dog, but like I said… another time!
No one wants to associate with a long-shot candidate. No one with the potential to land a gig with a Party Candidate.
(ASIDE: The inner workings of the DC Beltway seem extremely interesting! I can only assume. I’ve only seen a TINY BIT of what’s to come. As I write these words, I realize the positive side I have seen so far, that hints at ‘more to come’, is probably complemented by a negative partner… and now I realize just how NAKED I am…)
This bureaucratic political culture is astonishing to comprehend! Just think about how many people it takes to run ONE campaign, then the number of candidates, and every election cycle these campaigns get fully staffed… where do they all come from?! The best staff gets picked first, I assume. If I were one of those potential staff members, and ‘in it to win’ with MY livelihood at stake, I would approach it as a competition. The BEST attracts the BEST, the BEST attracts the MONEY, and MONEY pays the BILLS.
What’s MY BRAND right now? Independent. Outsider. Inexperienced. Can’t spell… “NEXT.”
So how do I REALLY see it? Why continue to fight? What have I done…?
The first time I threw the hashtag #EndTheHastertRule at Speaker Ryan… He flinched. It was so noticeable, the media commented on the change of schedule for the Speaker that day… did I do that?
At that time, I took it at face value. MAYBE… but other explanations seemed more plausible. That was within the first few weeks of my campaign.
Since that time I have made new friends, learned new policy, and have begun paving the intellectual pathway needed to reach my goal. I’ve made new allies, kindled friendships with people of like-mind, and have opened the hearts AND minds of people from BOTH SIDES of the isle…
In this EXTREMELY IMPORTANT, CULTURALLY RELEVANT, and completely IMAGINARY UNIVERSE…. called Twitter.
“…They must have taken my marbles away!” –Pinky
Upon reflection, on the shitshow that was 2018, I believe my chances are good. My platform is STRONG, and my ideas are SOUND. Learning how it all fits together on-the-fly, attempting to ‘fit in’, but ALWAYS working to STAND OUT.
The slings and arrows I’ve thrown, sometimes seem to VANISH before they hit their mark… at least that’s what I can see from MY point of view. If it seems like I’m hesitant sometimes, THAT would be a good description of why- I’m in the forest, middle of the night, and I’m walking around with my arms stretched out, trying to NOT run into a tree.
It is my hope that the Political Capital I’ve earned so far, will pay out in 2019…
I’m still searching for the ATM so I can make a withdraw.
To anyone who reads these: Thank you!
I appreciate BOTH of you… and thanks for stopping by.👍 HAPPY NEW YEAR!!